Proving once more that movie fan magazine writers could turn anything into an article, presumably if deadlines were looming darkly enough (see: Kneeology), here is a 1918 Picture-Play Magazine article all about…movie star mouths.
Now now, do not laugh. For this is some hard-hitting journalism right here. Face it, without this article you likely never gave the psychology of movie star lips a second thought. But now you’re thinking about it, and that’s a thought that wasn’t in your brain a mere few minutes ago, so…hooray!
Our fearless writer does not hesitate to confront us with piercing questions, which I think are well worth mulling over: “What does your mouth silently reveal? Does it betray the sternness of a grim general, the confidence of a successful businessman, the allure of a social butterfly, or the weakness of failure?” Our minds properly blown by these cutting queries, the writer then drops this zinger: “Have you, fair lady, a ‘cigarette lip’?”
Driven to seek more enlightenment, we read on to discover: “Right under your nose, you will find the true story of what you are and have been and long to be. Your eyes may be twin wonders, but they are what nature and the oculist have given you…But your mouth is largely what you yourself make it, and is the true index of your character.”
See, you didn’t know that, did you? No one did. Who could have guessed what riches of philosophy and psychology are to be found disguised as silly fan magazine articles?
For the entire article, wherein we also learn that the corners of Marguerite Clark’s mouth have “traces of coquetry,” go here. Upon receiving this life-changing enlightenment, go easy on your fragile self. Spend some time in contemplation. Drink a glass of water. And go about the remainder of your life in peace, thanks to the wisdom of Picture-Play Magazine.