So I Can’t Review “Babylon” (2022) Because It’s Too Disgusting

If you enjoy visiting this blog, and also like keeping up with at least some movie news, maybe you were wondering if I would review Damien Chazelle’s Babylon. It’s set during the silent era and all, and isn’t that my wheelhouse? And isn’t it true that silent era-themed films don’t come along every day?

Wait, this is silent era-themed, right?

The thought “Maybe I’ll sort of consider possibly checking it out at some point, maybe” briefly crossed my mind, yes. But the misgivings were strong. The trailer didn’t make it look that great, having that extremely self-conscious “This ain’t your great-grandmother’s 1920s!” vibe and all. Doing a takedown of the historical anachronisms would be something, I guess, but did I really want to sit through 3 and a half hours of that? (What’s odd is that many of the clichés Chazelle claimed he was avoiding were historically inaccurate to begin with, so…why not move in a historically accurate version for a change? It would blow people’s minds–just saying!)

This classic from The Onion springs to mind.

Then I found out about the elephant poop, spraying right at the camera, no joke. And the vomit. And the urinating. And more vomit. And mountains of cocaine for some reason (there were some morphine addicts in the silent era but usually because of doctors’ prescriptions). And just the sheer, ugly, dirty maliciousness of it all.

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